Wednesday, April 27, 2011

The Weapon of Indisputable Timekeeping Power


I just saw a 'Seiko' watch ad on the cover of 'The Sportsman's Guide' catalog which I somehow receive in the mail. The watch, priced at $199 (a $200 discount from the regular price) is stated in Bold font to be a "Weapon of indisputable timekeeping power". Can you believe that crap?
First of all, its a Seiko, so let's not get too excited. Secondly, it's not a weapon in any way, shape or form, and associating the word "power" with the watch does not change the fact that its...um...a WATCH. Thirdly, stating "indisputable" is absolutely outrageous. It implies that it has crushed into the dust of the earth all other timekeeping weapons to emerge victoriously at the top of the bonepile.
It's an overpriced crapanese watch - and that's all it is. One could win this "weapon of indisputable timekeeping power" by landing 3 consecutive rings over a bottle at a carnival.
In this digital age in which we live, the meticulous craftsmanship of yesteryear's Swiss movement means little. Especially when I can literally buy a digital watch which keeps accurate time and comes with a 10 year warranty for $9 at Walmart anywhere in the country.
Marketing and advertising agencies/departments are shameless and so pathetically desperate that they will spew any kind of drivel at all in order to swipe that cash from your hand.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to replace the Twist-O-Flex band on my Magnificent Oracle of Timecraft Opulence (Timex).

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Words That Should Not Exist

1.) Luncheon - Can't we just agree to call it lunch? Honestly!
2.) Holistic - This is just going way too far. At best it should be 'wholistic'. AT BEST!!
3.) Brunch - Just pick one or the other already.

This is a work in progress. These were just the first three that immediately irritated me...Stay tuned.

Thursday, April 7, 2011