Friday, April 23, 2010

Stuff I Hate (In No Particular Order)

1. The "cute" slang shortening of the word 'little' to 'lil'. For that matter, I hate any cute shortening of a word...Nobody is impressed, just spell it and say it correctly!!! (p.s. - there is a business of some sort here in my town which has managed to absolutely enrage me with its is called, now get this - 'Lil Dis & Lil Dat'. Can you believe it? Someone actually had the nerve to try to pull that off. I don't care what kind of business it is or how good their service is or how inexpensive their products are, I WOULD NEVER EVER GIVE THEM MY BUSINESS ON PRINCIPLE!

2. Twenty something young men with flat-billed baseball caps worn sideways and unoriginal tattoos of barbed wire or other sharp/dangerous adornment and driving $60,000 trucks with obnoxiously loud exhausts that gush big clouds of black smoke. There is a pathetically large number of these misguided young fellows in my town. So insecure and lacking any sense of self-worth that they dump every extra penny into their trucks in a desperate plea for attention...sadly these same individuals are usually delinquent on their child support payments (usually with more than one woman) but still seem to find the money to buy their little chrome skulls and naked lady silhouettes to decorate their 20 foot tall trucks which require an extension ladder to get into. My hate-o-meter is beginning to peg out as I write this.

3. People who stand too close to me in line at the store. I can't stand it when people crowd right up next to me with either their bodies, or their shopping cart. To all of you self-centered people who do this: Stop!! It is incredibly annoying, obnoxious and rude. You'll not make it through the line any faster by crowding people (this also goes for traffic). In such situations I have been known to turn around and stand facing the person standing right behind me. This is a great way to silently announce that "YOU'RE STANDING TOO CLOSE...BACK UP!!!"

4. Parking lot "Tent Sales" that aren't really sales. Here in my town we have a store called 'Basin Sports' which, from time to time, moves a whole bunch of its overpriced crap outside under a tent and tries to pawn it off to the public like it is some special event. Everyone is supposed to go on a shopping spree because there's a tent in the parking lot!! BUT ALL OF THE MERCHANDISE IS THE SAME PRICE AS WHEN IT WAS INSIDE THE STORE! How utterly lame!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

War Movie Review

i watched 'green zone' today, starring matt damon. if you like war movies, it was excellent...if not, you won't like it because it's a war movie. but did i mention that it was an excellent one? well it is, regardless of my mentioning it or not. but don't bother if you're not a war movie fan, because this is definitely a war movie. i could tell from all of the battle scenes.

there were definitely other scenes in the movie besides just battle scenes, but it was the battle scenes in particular that gave it away as a "war" movie. also, it was about a war and had strong themes of warfare and warriors (soldiers) all of whom were combating one another in a warlike manner. i guess you could say it was a war flick.

which i happen to like. i don't know about you.

i guess i should qualify that last statement - or second to last...i don't like ALL war movies. the boring ones are the ones i DON'T like. also the sucky ones. but if its good and its about war, you can count me in.

this also goes for romance movies, sci-fi, horror and comedies.

but there's nothing funny about war.

except for if one soldier cracks a good joke to a group of soldiers like, say, in the mess hall. that would crack me up!

other than the upbeat camaraderie of brothers-in-arms telling jokes, there's nothing funny about war. it's bloody and brutal.

and times.

i think that if i had to pick the funniest thing about war it would be all the jokes the soldiers tell to one another. especially the knee-slappers. those ones are the BEST!!

the only thing is, apart from the jokes, war is hell. and hell is like purgatory filled up to the max with the most hellish components. let's not forget that hell is no laughing matter. and neither is war. both hell and war are 100% bummers and there's probably only 2-5% (pretty much negligible) about either that is funny!

that makes me think of something i was wondering before - i wonder if any jokes are ever told in hell? if there are, i bet they aren't funny.