Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Deep Inventions - The Portable Automobile Telephone

It's a telephone that works right in your car!! The power comes from the automobiles battery, and the radio waves are transmitted and received from a miniature satellite dish which mounts to the roof of the vehicle. Now you can have long distance conversations from the convenience of the drivers seat!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

"Perky" and "Sassy" and "Bubbly" and "Maddeningly Obnoxious"

Are we supposed to find her endearing or witty? If the only advertising strategy is to come up with a "memorable" mascot that has absolutely nothing to do with telling you why you should buy their product instead of someone else's, then they've succeeded. I deeply dislike this approach to marketing, sales and advertising. Why not simply concentrate on making the best product/service you can and then using your valuable advertising money and time to convince the consumer that your product/service is superior? Why not? Because we're floating in an ocean of cultural garbage and its more profitable to just produce cheap junk and paste a face like this on the can. I have less and less faith in mankind with every generation of commercials.
Oh, and also: This woman scares the crap out of me. She looks like a cannibal eyeballing her victim...Does she not?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Nikki Sixx Is Coming To Thanksgiving

A friend suggested that we invite Nikki Sixx to Thanksgiving this year as it might throw an interesting musical dynamic to the festivities. I told him it was alright by me, as long as Nikki Sixx brought his own turkey so there would be plenty for everyone. I wouldn't want to be like, "Man, that turkey was delish...I'd love to have more, but I see Nikki Sixx is eyeballing the last thigh. Dangit, Nikki Sixx!"
Also, I must insist that he chose between either a belt OR suspenders. And the hair should be combed neatly to one side.
p.s. - Thanksgiving being a civilized celebration, we will be using our given Christian names. Hence, Mr. Sixx will be addressed as Nicholas Sixxowski.